If connection feels urgent, it’s not about love. It’s about regulation. Anxious attachment turns attraction into pressure, confuses intensity with intimacy, and turns connection into a coping strategy. Secure attachment isn’t about needing less connection; it’s about needing it less desperately. When you believe I’ll be okay either way, desire comes from choice, not fear. A partner becomes an addition, not a solution. Regulation first. Relationship second. This is how autonomy replaces attachmen
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